Pass the hurt?

Happy Friday to y'all. Hope none of you get hit by a satellite falling out of the sky today! If you don't know what I'm talking about, NASA has warned the world that one of their satellites will be falling back to earth shortly.. But don't worry your odds of getting hit by it are the same as hitting a hole in one.. If you're a bad golfer you're safe!

So what is this blog about? Satellites falling? Actually no that was just a random thought. I'm actually writing about hurt.. How many of us are guilty of passing the hurt? I know I am.. What is passing the hurt? You might ask with a knowing grin on your beautiful face. Well it's a little game we as humans like to play.

Has anyone ever hurt you? Said something mean? Done something to you they shouldn't have? Made you feel like the world wasn't such an amazing place? Maybe even made you feel like the world was a down right awful place? Yes I think it's safe to say we have all been hurt.
So what is our reaction to being hurt?
Well It would seem our instinctual reaction is we put up walls. Go into defense mode. We don't want to be hurt because it doesn't feel good so we look for ways to protect ourselves. They say sometimes the best defense is a good offense so some people begin to hurt others in an attempt to not be hurt themselves. No one is going to go near a snake that constantly bites. The snake might be lonely but chances are no one will ever get close enough to hurt him. Good strategy?

Someone says you're stupid and you say.. No I'm not you are!! Think about it..

So we pass the hurt. We pass it to children, friends, family or anyone in our way. They in turn pass the hurt to someone new. Not because we want to hurt others. No, I don't think anyone wants another person to hurt. In our simple little human minds we think we are protecting ourselves.

HURT CAN BE RESOLVED! But sadly It rarely is. We live in a world of hurt people. They in turn become lost because they live in a cycle of hurting others and then guess what? The defenses fail and the person still gets hurt. To resolve the hurt we must begin by looking at why fighting fire with fire doesn't work.. MORE FIRE!!

It may seem like it's human nature to hold grudges, to build walls and to pass the hurt but I think sometimes saying something is human nature is just an excuse. An excuse to take the easy road. We define our nature by our actions. Break the cycle of hurt! It begins with forgiveness.

Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."

hmmmmm..... Really think about that... The prisoner was you? Could it be that our "Human nature" is actually hurting us more? Holding us captive? ABSOLUTELY! This is one of the truths that when you realize it, it really sets you free..

So look at your past. The things that have hurt you.. Start letting those things go and see how it feels, forgive the people who you feel have hurt you. It's scary at first because you think you are making yourself vulnerable but guess what, it doesn't make you any more vulnerable at all! Start fighting fire with water. If someone hurts you, love them in return.

Jesus said,

“But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” Matthew 5:39

Jesus in his infinite wisdom was commanding us to do something we don't completely understand. It seems he is telling us to let people hurt us. Simply looked at it may appear that way but we also have to rememeber Jesus had knowledge of the big picture. Maybe it was more about love. Saying to the person, "I know you don't want to hurt me, I will not retaliate, I love you." Eventually love causes people to drop their defenses because their fear of being hurt starts to disappear.

Passing the hurt will never get us anywhere but it may, in the beginning, feel like we are protecting ourselves. The only true way to stop the world from hurting is to love and forgive each other. Try it, it will surprise you.

Start passing the love. It may take time to break down defenses but eventually they will fall and you will see the world through different eyes.

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle

Hitting the snooze button

bzzzzzzzzzzzzz... bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz - that's the sound of an alarm clock (Metaphor for a calling on someones life) to wake up and answer that calling. And I say,
"Okay Okay!! I know I know I need to wake up buuuutt I'll just hit the snooze button once.."

bzzzzzzzzz bzzzzzzzzzzzz...
"Oh right I was supposed to wake up.. Oh well hitting the snooze button one more time won't hurt..."

BZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZ
"Okay okay this time I'll get up!"

How many freaken wake up calls does a person need before they actually truly wake up??
The answer for me seems to always be just one more. I realize I need to wake up and then I do but then quickly decide that just hitting the snooze button one more time couldn't hurt. I'm talking in metaphors here. I'm referring to waking up to your life, to the things you may be doing that cause you pain. To the things you may not be doing that would cause you joy. Waking up and living the life calling to you. Beckoning you to become fulfilled and empowered.

Not waking up seems kind of insane.

My good buddy Albert Einstein defines Insanity thusly: "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Let's think about the things we as humans do over and over again.

We look for happiness in money or power so some people work endlessly expecting that the emptiness that they feel when it comes to work or life will be filled by the money they make. Inevitably power in work and money from slaving endless hours will just be a fix. You will get hungry again and you'll start eating anything you can find.. It just leads you into a cycle.

How about someone addicted to a drug or alcohol or any crutch really? Sometimes the need is to dull an emotion, forget or ignore things or just feel momentarily better.. Then, you crash and feel like garbage but that's okay because you can just start the whole thing again right? insane cycle?

Maybe you look to other people to fix things, using someone physically or emotionally to make you feel fulfilled? Needed? Important? But then people let you down, you feel crappy again but that is also okay because there are lot's of new people to turn to. Insane cycle not getting anywhere really. spinning the tires.

Going around in circles looking for happiness, fulfillment, purpose. Reminds me of something...

A hamster running in a wheel not getting anywhere but continually running because maybe just maybe it feels like he is getting somewhere when he really truly undoubtedly is not going to get anywhere..

How many of us do that? I have been doing it so much lately it's not funny.. Okay well maybe a little funny hahah. Actually someone I heard speak lately, Steve Backlund, said it's good sometimes to say "let's just laugh about that." and actually just laugh about it in order to be able to not let little things bother us. Look him up on youtube, he's a great guy.

Maybe you are perfect and are always on the right path not using any crutches and taking complete responsibility for you and looking only to truth to make you happy. If that's you then congrats and can you teach me? That's not me though and Let me talk to you about my recent wake up calls.

Wake up call #1. Drinking is something I have been trying to take control over for a while. I've been in denial and I've known it wasn't good for me but I just kept running in that wheel. So one night I'm out on the town with some friends. I have way to much to drink, like I did almost every single time I drank, and don't remember much. Oh, what I do remember is a bit of an ambulance ride and then being at the hospital. Turns out someone had assaulted me. One of my eyes wouldn't open and when I forced it to I had double vision. I don't want to make this a long drawn out story so lets just say I ended up with three broken bones in my face. I now have a hole from my sinuses to my right eye socket. When I blow my nose my eye moves.. eek..

This happened and I said.. No more running in the alcohol wheel. It's hurting me in many ways.
but guess what?? again I hit the snooze button. Even after a broken face. WAKE UP JOEL!

Wake up call # 2.
So here I am writing yet another blog from my bed (Although today was a much better day) what am I on about? I have pneumonia. So another thing I have never been very good at is taking care of myself.. I think many of us suffer from that and we have this idea that we are invincible. Others might get sick but we never will. I GOT SICK!! running in that wheel of not taking care of myself.

Those are just the two latest wake up calls.. There have been many...

Making the same choices and expecting a different outcome.. Oh Albert my boy you truly were a genius!

So here I am.. The alarm has gone off yet again and I have not hit the snooze button yet. I pray that I have the strength not to hit it at all..

So how do we get off our hamster wheels? Just that, get out of the wheel. We all have wheels and I'm sure if we think hard enough we know what they are. I am going to quote Steve Backlund again here..

"Everything in our lives that doesn't glisten with hope is based on a lie." Think about that!

When we run in a wheel and we feel hopeless it's because we aren't basing things in our lives on the truth. We are in denial. It's scary to face yourself and to face your wheels. Chances are even though they eventually make you feel bad at the time they are in some ways comforting. Things like money, power, clothes, cars, lots of "friends", getting drunk/high/shutting off your brain in some way. These fixes all put you right back in the wheel. What gets you out of the wheel?

TRUTH, LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, SIMPLICITY, PROPER REST/DIET, TRUE FRIENDS, FAMILY, PEACE.... So much much much more. If it gives you hope then it probably isn't putting you in a wheel. Not hope that if only you could change who you are or your circumstances but real hope for who you are RIGHT NOW.. Negative thinking needs to stop and positive thinking needs to take over.

Everyone needs a wake up call and depending on how insane you are you may need quite a few wake up calls but you know you have wheels in your life that you are running in, well let this be your wake up call!! Stop running in the wheel! Start focusing on truth. The true things that can and will make you happy.

If you are like me you get discouraged easy. If you aren't like me you then keep doing what you're doing. But don't let discouragement put you back in the wheel either.. That would be a lie.

Pursue your dreams! Breath the air! Give someone a hug! Be the shiny you that God created.

Smile! but please don't wait for the next alarm. You never know when there won't be a next..

WAKE UP!!